This myth, or a version of it, seems to have become increasingly accepted in recent decades. There are likely a number of factors involved, but the age for first-time marriages has increased in American society at large. The median age for first-time marriages went from 23.2 in 1970 to 28.2 in 2010 among U.S. males and from 20.8 to 26.1 among females. It appears the median ages for evangelical Christians are earlier but not by a lot. The ideas that feed into this myth – for instance, that you should have fun before settling down in marriage or you should focus on building a career – can undermine the path God has designed for most people. Before I say more, here are a couple of disclaimers: (1) No Christian should marry until God has provided him or her with a person He wants you to take as a spouse, and (2) some people will remain single in God’s providence. The more pressing problem today seems to be delaying marriage rather than rushing it. Many people appear to rule out marriage until their mid to late 20s, if not later. Ladies certainly are not immune to this, but the problem seems to be especially acute among men. There seem to be many Christian ladies who desire marriage but have yet to be pursued by a godly man they believe would be appropriate for a husband. There is a sense even within the church that too many men are content to extend their adolescence for years while not stepping out to accept the responsibilities God has designed for them. For both Christian men and women, please don’t intentionally postpone entrance into the relationship God intends to use in your lives to help demonstrate the gospel and to help you grow as disciples of Christ.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Marriage myth No. 6: I should delay marriage until I have experienced life
This myth, or a version of it, seems to have become increasingly accepted in recent decades. There are likely a number of factors involved, but the age for first-time marriages has increased in American society at large. The median age for first-time marriages went from 23.2 in 1970 to 28.2 in 2010 among U.S. males and from 20.8 to 26.1 among females. It appears the median ages for evangelical Christians are earlier but not by a lot. The ideas that feed into this myth – for instance, that you should have fun before settling down in marriage or you should focus on building a career – can undermine the path God has designed for most people. Before I say more, here are a couple of disclaimers: (1) No Christian should marry until God has provided him or her with a person He wants you to take as a spouse, and (2) some people will remain single in God’s providence. The more pressing problem today seems to be delaying marriage rather than rushing it. Many people appear to rule out marriage until their mid to late 20s, if not later. Ladies certainly are not immune to this, but the problem seems to be especially acute among men. There seem to be many Christian ladies who desire marriage but have yet to be pursued by a godly man they believe would be appropriate for a husband. There is a sense even within the church that too many men are content to extend their adolescence for years while not stepping out to accept the responsibilities God has designed for them. For both Christian men and women, please don’t intentionally postpone entrance into the relationship God intends to use in your lives to help demonstrate the gospel and to help you grow as disciples of Christ.
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