Suddenly, same-sex marriage is here

Same-sex marriage quickly became more than a "what-if" scenario this week in our state. It is now a legal reality.

The U.S. Supreme Court's Oct. 6 announcement it would not review any of the marriage rulings before it from lower courts immediately wiped out laws or constitutional amendments in Virginia and four other states that limited marriage to a man and a woman. Same-sex weddings began taking place the same day, and marriages of same-sex couples from other states became legal in our state and others.

In addition, the Supreme Court's action paved the way for the legalization of same-sex marriage in six other states in federal appeals court circuits that include the five states directly affected. An Oct. 7 ruling by another appeals court opened the gates for legalized same-sex marriage in five more states. As a result, the stage is set for same-sex marriage to be legal in 35 of the 50 states, as well as the District of Columbia.

With a single line, the country's highest court ended the hypotheticals for people in Virginia -- the earthly home of my wife and me, as well as the church I pastor. The theoretical became actual.

So what does this mean for Covenant Community Church and others who are following Jesus? Much more could be written, but here are a few thoughts:

1. Our witness to marriage must not change. The government's newly expanded definition of the union does not change the original definition. As those claimed by God through Christ, we must continue to affirm marriage as given by the Creator in making human beings -- it is only between one man and one woman.

2. Our witness will be challenged. This could be both personal and legal. Our view of marriage as those who believe in biblical authority likely will become less acceptable among others as they get used to the new marriage regime. It will be uncomfortable to disagree with those we love who seek our affirmation of their same-sex wedding and marriage. Clashes between the legal rights of same-sex couples and the religious freedom of convictional Christians will play out in courts. Christians with wedding service businesses -- such as photographers, florists and bakers -- have not fared well so far in other states when declining to work at same-sex ceremonies. It is uncertain what the effect may eventually be for churches and pastors.

3. Our witness must be bold and compassionate. We must prepare ourselves to say, "No," to family and friends who want us to attend their weddings. To be witnesses at a same-sex wedding -- which describes those who attend such a ceremony -- is to support something we know not to be a wedding or a marriage as defined by God. It also is to commit ourselves to holding the couple to their vows. We -- as those saved by the One whose gospel is pictured by marriage -- are not free to lend such support to what God has refused to affirm. In this and other situations that likely will confront us, our boldness should be seasoned by grace, love and gentleness. We are to love people, not the winning of arguments. We are to give them the reconciling message of Jesus and His saving work. We are to love and treasure Christ enough to be willing to suffer the consequences of obeying Him, in spite of the cost relationally and financially.

Covenant Community Church, and every other New Testament church, is called to this hour. As co-laborers in the same fellowship, we have the opportunity to encourage, support and pray for one another. We face difficult times, but we face them in unity with one another. As we do so, may Jesus and His people become even more valued by us.

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Marriage and the church of Jesus Christ

Right now, there seems to be no end to the distressing news about marriage.

For our society, it came last week in the results of a new study.

For our nuclear family, it came this week in the news that a friend of one of us recently entered into a legal marriage to his same-sex partner. And several of his friends -- who are, or were, professing evangelicals – applauded the wedding and marriage.

The new report from the Pew Research Center included the following troubling trends:

-- The percentage of American adults who have never married is at an all-time high. One in five adults 25 years of age and older fits this description. In 1960, only nine percent of adults in that age range had never married.

-- Only 46 percent of Americans say society is better off if people make marriage and children a priority, while 50 percent say society is just as well off if people have other priorities. This way of thinking is stronger among younger adults: 67 percent of those 18 to 29 years of age affirm the latter perspective, and 53 percent of those 30 to 49 agree with it.

These trends provide more evidence of “the marginalization of marriage in American life,” R. Albert Mohler said on his podcast Oct. 2. Mohler is president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Ky.

“We’re involved in a massive social experiment in the present to see if you can have a society that does not respect marriage – that does not have marriage as the central relational expectation,” Mohler said. “No previous society known to human experience has been so organized, but in our post-Christian, postmodern, post-whatever age, a considerable number of Americans have decided that marriage is now one of those things we can well do without.”

This is not an insignificant issue for the church of Jesus Christ. Marriage is a gift to all human beings. God, not humanity and not human society, established it. It is to last as long as a man and a woman who have made vows to each other live. It is important to the children marriage produces, and it is important to the societies they fill. Its fullest meaning is its portrayal of the ultimate marriage between Christ and His bride, the church.

As the church, we are to affirm God’s definition of and intention for marriage. We are to defend it and explain it before a watching world. We are to present it to the people of God as the beautiful, one-flesh covenant and vital means of sanctification it is designed to be. We are to honor it, while also honoring singleness biblically. We are to remember the church – made up of the married, never married, divorced and widowed – is eternal. Our marriages are not. We are to remember our primary mission is to make disciples, not husbands and wives – though disciples who are married should be gracious, loving and faithful husbands and wives. Yet, we are to promote the true meaning of marriage and the sacrificial service that makes marriage joyful and rewarding while pointing to the beauty of Jesus.

This is a challenging time for the church on the issue of marriage, but we can take heart that God remains in control and we are blessed to be His representatives in this culture. May we represent Him with compassion and boldness as those who have nothing of eternal significance to lose because of His gospel.

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Benefits of preaching the gospel to yourself

I have encouraged the saints of Covenant Community Church frequently in recent years to rehearse -- or preach to themselves -- the gospel of Jesus. I have learned that from others, and I have found it beneficial to my own life.

William Farley has written a new book on why Christians should adopt this practice and how they can do it. (By the way, one of Farley's previous books is an excellent one on parenting titled Gospel-powered Parenting.) Super-blogger Tim Challies posted yesterday on Farley's new book, Hidden in the Gospel, and excerpted Farley's seven benefits of preaching the gospel to yourself. I commend them to you:

1. Those who preach the gospel to themselves are regularly and repetitively exposed to the glory of God.

2. Those who preach the gospel to themselves grow in humility.

3. Those who preach the gospel to themselves are most likely to gain deliverance from that three-headed monster of guilt, inferiority, and low self-image.

4. Those who preach the gospel to themselves accelerate their sanctification.

5. Those who preach the gospel to themselves are increasingly “abounding in thanksgiving” (Col. 2:6).

6. Those who preach the gospel to themselves are increasingly hopeful.

7. Those who preach the gospel to themselves are repeatedly led to worship.

The power of lines and verses in hymns

John Piper has often said, “Books don’t change people, paragraphs do — sometimes sentences.”

Something similar may be said of Christian hymns, something like: Hymns don’t affect us as much as verses or lines do.

Now, I would say my adage regarding hymns does not work as well as Piper’s on books. After all, books are much longer than hymns. The contrast between the impact of a sentence or a paragraph against an entire book is much greater than that of a verse or line against a hymn.

Yet, I thought of the power of verses and lines in hymns after I read Tim Challies’ recent blog post on the 10 greatest hymns of all time. You can read the post here. It is an excellent list. Several of the hymns would be on a top 10 list I would compile.

In this post, however, I want to call attention to some verses, or portions of verses, from hymns that particularly stand out for their beauty and power. These hymns would likely be in my top 10 list of favorite hymns, but it is not these hymns in their entirety that have earned places of recognition here. Instead, it is the verses or lines quoted from these hymns that have affected me and brought me to quote them.

I will begin with lyrics that have caused me to request these first two hymns be sung at my memorial service.

1. Before the Throne of God Above
This hymn’s lyrics, written in 1863 by Charitie Lees Bancroft, form a powerful testimony to the all-sufficient work of Jesus for His people. The second verse, which is my favorite, reminds me not to focus on my inadequacy but on the perfect adequacy of Christ:

When Satan tempts me to despair and tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there who made an end of all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died, my sinful soul is counted free.
For God the just is satisfied to look on Him and pardon me, to look on Him and pardon me.

These words in the last line – “God the just is satisfied to look on Him and pardon me” – may be unsurpassed among hymns in explaining briefly the substitutionary work of Jesus.

2. In Christ Alone
This modern hymn by Stuart Townend and Keith Getty, published in 2001, is one of the most-sung hymns in English-speaking churches and, The Gospel Coalition’s Collin Hansen reports, “has become an anthem for underground churches throughout the world.” It is difficult for me to choose a favorite from the last three verses of this poignant hymn about our union with Christ. For today anyway, my favorite is verse four:

No guilt in life, no fear in death, this is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man, can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home, here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

3. Stricken, Smitten, and Afflicted
Our church sings this 1804 hymn by Thomas Kelly during our Good Friday service each year. It is a sobering reflection on the suffering of our Savior. Verse two’s reference to “the stroke that Justice gave” is a vivid declaration of a holy God’s punishment of sin:

Tell me, ye who hear Him groaning, was there ever grief like His?
Friends through fear His cause disowning, foes insulting His distress;
Many hands were raised to wound Him, none would interpose to save;
But the deepest stroke that pierced Him was the stroke that Justice gave.

4. And Can It Be?
Charles Wesley may be my favorite hymn writer. Of all his great hymns, none may surpass this one he wrote shortly after his conversion in 1738. The first verse profoundly expresses the amazement all of us, as Christians, should have that God the Son would die in our place:

And can it be that I should gain an int’rest in the Savior’s blood?
Died He for me, who caused His pain? For me, who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! how can it be that Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

5. Hark! the Herald Angels Sing
Yes, another Charles Wesley hymn. And yes, a Christmas carol. Some of the best theology in Christian hymnody is found in songs about the incarnation of Christ. In the last half of the third verse of this 1739 hymn, Wesley describes a purpose of God the Son in entering the world as a baby boy:

Mild He lays His glory by, born that men no more may die,
Born to raise the sons of earth, born to give them second birth.

What are your favorite verses or lines from hymns?

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The gospel and modesty (Part 2)

As Christians, we don’t take our signals from the world. This is certainly true when it comes to modesty. While this virtue has a cultural context, ours is an immodest culture. There was a day when American culture maintained a common understanding of basic modesty. That day no longer exists.

The church needs to give careful attention to this issue. How we dress, act and speak – whether modestly or immodestly – reflects on our testimony as followers of Christ and on the name of our righteous Lord.

Here are some questions I hope will prove helpful for our consideration as Christians:

-- What is our goal in our dress, language and actions? Is it the glory of God?

-- Whom do we dress to please? Is God our primary audience? Do we seek to catch the eyes of the opposite sex? Do we seek to impress friends of the same sex?

-- Do we try to bring attention to ourselves by our dress, actions and speech?

-- Is our goal to serve others in this area? Are you, as a lady, sensitive to your brothers in Christ? Are you, as a man, sensitive to your sisters in Christ?

-- Are we permitting other believers to hold us accountable regarding modesty? Are you, as a young lady, seeking your father’s wisdom? Are you, as a young man, requesting your mother’s insight? Are you, as a husband or wife, asking for your spouse’s counsel? Are you, as a single adult, soliciting advice from a fellow Christian?

-- Do we extend grace to others who may not meet the same standards we hold? Or do we nurse critical spirits toward those who fall short in our eyes? Do we take pride in how we dress or act in contrast to others?

-- Do we live with the constant recognition we are clothed with the righteousness of
Christ and our acceptance by God is based solely on Jesus and His work? Do we see personal modesty as an outworking of God’s grace in our lives rather than an effort to gain His favor?

May we pray for one another and encourage one another as we seek to dress, act and speak in ways that demonstrate we are “a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light” (I Peter 2:9).

The gospel and modesty (Part 1)

News broke in the last few days a hacker had managed to access and make public photos reportedly from the cellphones of more than a hundred celebrities – some of them in the nude. The reports came on the heels of a sermon I preached last Sunday on modesty, my latest in a series on gender and sexuality.

In that sermon, I mentioned modesty has become even more of an issue for Christians in the age of social media. We need to be careful not only about how we dress, act and speak in public appearances but in what we wear, how we pose and what messages we post on Facebook and other online venues. The believability of our testimony and the name of Christ are on the line in those settings. We need to think about our Savior and His gospel when we take part in social media.

Here are some points I made during Sunday’s sermon, which focused on Titus 2:11-14:

-- We should think about modesty in a gospel-centered way, not a rule-centered one. In their book Modest: Men and Women Clothed in the Gospel, Tim Challies and R.W. Glenn write, “Modesty apart from the gospel becomes a self-made religion that can give some appearance of being the genuine article but that is in the end of no value (none!) in our battle with the sinful and inordinate desires of our hearts. If we reduce modesty to certain rules of dress, we are completely separating the concept of modesty from the person and work of Jesus Christ.” (Their book was a great help to me in compiling some of these points.)

-- Modesty can vary by situation and culture. What is modest at the pool would not likely be modest in corporate worship. What is modest in corporate worship in America would not be modest in public in Saudi Arabia.

-- Modesty is not just an issue for females. Males can violate modesty by their dress, behavior and words.

-- While Titus 2:11-14 applies to all of life for a follower of Christ, I believe it can be applied in these ways regarding modesty: (1) The grace of God enables and instructs us to embrace modesty. (2) The return of Christ motivates us to embrace modesty. (3) The substitution of Christ sets us apart to embrace modesty.

-- Modesty, based on this passage in Titus, is to be not only gospel-focused but (1) Christ-focused, (2) heart-focused, and (3) service-focused.

-- Pride, ignorance and/or insensitivity can fuel immodesty.

-- Two questions for Christians when considering this issue: (1) Whom do you dress for? (2) Whom have you invited to advise you and hold you accountable in this area?

Handling disagreements in the church (Part 2)

My first post on handling disagreements within the church focused on two recommendations:

-- Make certain your differences count.

-- Think, listen, speak and act with humility.

You can read that post here.

Here are two more thoughts on how church members should handle disagreements with fellow believers in their fellowship:

3. Seek to understand the other Christian’s beliefs. Some disagreements are based at least in part on misunderstanding. It is both unsettling and unhelpful for a church member to accuse another of believing something that distorts what he truly believes. As Christians, we can become deeply invested emotionally in disapproval of a particular belief. As a result, we sometimes have a difficult time backing down and humbling ourselves when we find out we have falsely accused someone who is in covenant with us in the church. Too often, apologies and requests for forgiveness are not forthcoming. The fellowship between two or more Christians suffers as a result, and so does the church’s health. If we think we disagree with another disciple, we should make certain we understand what he or she actually believes before we go any further. We should go to that person in a non-confrontational, non-judgmental way and kindly ask for clarification, demonstrating we truly want to understand his position. “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves,” (Phil. 2:3).

4. Think and speak charitably. Our attitude, words and behavior should be filled with grace and love while we discern if there is a legitimate disagreement, while we address any disagreement and while we determine what to do in light of a disagreement. Hopefully, we will be able to walk together afterward. Differences over non-essential doctrines should not divide and should be accompanied by a demonstration of one of the marks of true Christianity: “By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). Differences over essential beliefs may require separation, but they also should be accompanied by love.